A seemingly innocent piece of data
When a messaging app asks for your phone number, it seems reasonable. After all, it's a communication app. It needs to know who you are to connect you with your contacts. Sounds logical. But there's something that's rarely explained: your phone number is linked to your real name, your ID, your postal address. It's not a technical detail. It's your civil identity.
From that moment on, every message you send, every group you belong to, every contact you have and every time you connect is associated with a person with a name and surname. Not because someone looked for it on purpose. Simply because that's how the system works: your number is your digital ID.
Why do they ask for it?
The official reason is usually convenience. "This way you find your friends automatically." The app uploads your contact list to the server, cross-references the numbers and shows you who else uses it. Quick and easy.
But think about it the other way around. That means the company has your number, the number of all your contacts — even those who don't use the app — and knows exactly who knows whom. That network of relationships is extraordinarily valuable. Not because it's sold directly, but because it allows building a very precise profile of who you are, who you relate to and how you live.
The alternative exists
It's possible to create a messaging app where you don't need to give your phone number. Or your email. Or any personal data. You choose a username — whatever you want, it can be made up — and a password. That's it. Nobody knows who is behind that name unless you tell them.
To connect with someone you don't need the app to scan your contacts. You share a QR code or a link with the person you want to talk to. You share it however you want: in person, by email, by another means. The connection is established directly between the two of you, without any server knowing who is connected to whom.
What if I lose my account?
It's the most common question. If there's no phone number or email associated, how do I recover my account? The answer is a cryptographic signature: 24 words generated when you create your account. Those 24 words are your identity — the key to access your information. You write them down, keep them somewhere safe, and with them you can recover access to your vault from any device where you have a copy of your data: the device where you created it, another device you've synced, or a backup you've saved yourself. Your data is only where you've decided it should be.
It's the same principle used by cryptocurrency wallets. Your identity doesn't depend on a company, or a server, or a phone number that can change. It depends on something only you have. And if nobody else has those 24 words, nobody else can be you.
A matter of principles
Asking for your phone number is not a technical necessity. It's a design decision. It's choosing the operator's convenience over the user's privacy. It's deciding that being able to cross-reference databases is more important than respecting the anonymity of someone who simply wants to talk to another person.
There's another way of doing things. Less convenient for the company, perhaps. But infinitely more respectful of the person on the other side of the screen.